Forgiveness

(Notes from a radio broadcast in 2020 – Pastor Robert Jeffress)

(Based on the book “When Forgiveness Doesn’t Make Sense” by Pastor Robert Jeffress)

Authentic forgiveness

Matthew 18 tells the parable of the unmerciful servant – how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me?  Up to 7 times?  Jesus answered:  not 7, but 77 times!  The kingdom of Heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.  As he began the settlement, a man who owed him 10,000 bags of gold was brought to him.  Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.  At this, the servant fell on his knees before his master.  Be patient with me, he begged, and I will pay back everything.  The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt, and let him go.  Coincidentally, the servant went to collect money owed to HIM by another servant and would not forgive the debt (a much lower debt than he himself was forgiven).  He had the man, even though he begged, thrown in jail for non-payment.  The master then called the first servant in and said “you wicked servant, I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.  Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”  In his anger, the master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured until he should pay back all he owed.  This is how God will treat each of us unless we forgive from our heart.

Overview of Biblical Forgiveness

· Forgiveness is a big deal to God.  The Bible says our eternal destiny depends upon our willingness to forgive others.

o Matthew 6:14-15 tells us that if we are unwilling to forgive, then God will be unwilling to forgive us.  It is the obligation of the forgiven to forgive others.

· Forgiveness is the only remedy God gives us to deal with our hurts.

· God sees all sin as the same and we therefore must become better, as Christians, at extending grace (through forgiveness) to others.

· God’s grace and love are unconditional and the hallmark of Christianity.

· Forgiveness has no strings – be kind to one another and forgive the hurt others are inflicting on you.  The burden on you of not forgiving has its consequences.  Recognize that your heaven or hell destiny is REAL.  If we believe in God and Heaven, likewise, we believe in Satan and Hell.  Don’t be separated from God for all of eternity for refusing to forgive.

Complicating Factors

· Personal offenses vs. sin in the church - Asking your offender to repent is not your job.  Personal offenses should always be forgiven.  When an offender sins against the church, the church will deal with it.

o Personal offenses should always be forgiven.

o But as it relates to sins against the church, the guidance is this:  Let the leaders handle it.  If you see a specific sin, you can try to talk to the person.  If that fails you can try again (bringing a second person to help), but after that the church will deal with the offender.

· Forgiving repeat offenders - If forgiveness toward a repeat offender makes you feel like a doormat, God still commands you to forgive.  In this type of relationship, we are held prisoner by our feelings and anger toward this person.  It needs to be released through forgiveness, no matter how much the person repeats the offense.  However, you are in control of how much time you spend with this person and if what they are doing is illegal you are also in control of whether or not you report the offense to the appropriate authorities.

· Forgiving illegal acts - When it comes to murder, theft, or physical abuse, it seems there is no logical reason to forgive the offender.  We don’t deny the reality of our pain by letting the offender off the hook.  Forgiveness would be a release of an obligation the offender has created toward us (i.e. surrendering our right to be angry at our offender, as well as expecting a restitution that is impossible for the offender to give us, for various reasons).

· Revenge is not the right way - If the offender has victimized you with an illegal act, you rightly want to see justice served but you don’t, as a Christian, exact revenge on the person.  God will seek justice on your behalf through the legal system or through His judgment when that person dies.  We must believe God’s promises if we believe in Him as our Lord and Savior.  Often, waiting for God to handle it is the only way to settle a debt we are ill-equipped to settle.  And for now, forgiveness is the only way to release our pain.

· Reconciliation may be possible - If the offender goes unpunished it can obviously be painful and difficult to forgive.  The problem for us is that the events keep replaying themselves repeatedly in our minds, holding us hostage to the situation, even if the memories lessen over time.  To get peace, we must forgive and surrender our right to vengeance, allowing God to settle the score at the right time.  This makes reconciliation possible in many common situations where people have been estranged due to conflict.

God’s rules for forgiveness are for our benefit

· Forgive unconditionally – the root of bitterness will grow when you don’t forgive unconditionally.

· We are all guilty of sin (and we are all capable of it!)  This illustrates there is little difference in the human nature of each individual.  When considering forgiveness, we must keep in mind that we are sinners just like everyone else.

· The offended person must make the first move or release their offender from the obligation the offense created.  Sometimes the offender has no clue they have done anything wrong, so it’s your choice whether or not to confront.  The importance to you of the offense is the criteria in deciding whether or not to bring this to your offender’s attention.

· When we sin against God (through disobedience to His law), He initiates and seeks reconciliation with us through subtle messaging in our lives (guilt, other people, new perspectives).  He also gives us what we don’t deserve (forgiveness), so we need to do the same with other people.

· The moment we trust in Jesus as our Savior, He credits us—our faith is exchanged for the righteousness of Jesus.  When we trust in Him, we forgive others as part of the plan because we have been forgiven—a gift none of us deserves.

· Forgiveness is the obligation of the forgiven.  God evaluates all judgment we make on others.  He sees all sin as sin—there are no varying degrees of sin.  This is good news for all of us so that we can live in peace as it relates to our own sin.  God punishes us for our sin to the same degree that that we punish others.  Remember this, keep your hurt in perspective in light of this truth, and always forgive.

· Anyone engaged in battle with one another is considered to be under the influence of Satan, because they are not following biblical principles of forgiveness.  This is usually due to their unbelief in a sovereign God, but often it is due to self-righteous attitudes.  The next step for these people is to consider their eternal destinies and whether or not it is important to them whether or not they go to Heaven when they die.  It is only then that they will truly understand forgiveness and will be able to apply biblical forgiveness principles in their lives.

What Happens When We Forgive

· We experience relief and peace after we release our offender from the debt he created.

· Remember that Jesus paid our debt to God when He died on the cross.  God does not ask us to do the same as payment for our sins.  Instead He asks us to follow Him and live a Christian life, which includes always forgiving those who have offended us.  We must also ask Him for forgiveness of our own sins.

· God offers salvation to everyone, no matter what they’ve done, if they seek to improve their lives through the Christian principles—which include trusting Him, knowing Him, and following Him.  If any sinner (i.e. anyone) does not seek Him out, they will spend eternity separated from Him.  Forgiveness is imperative in the life of a Christian.

· Forgiveness essentially boils down to a life-and-death decision for everyone, because of our Heaven or Hell destinies.  We are obligated to always forgive.